Friendships are very important in life. While I don’t think the number of friends matter, I do believe that the quality of friends is very important.
As I have gotten older, I’ve noticed that many people don’t have the same definition of friendship or don’t reciprocate certain actions. I’ve also noticed that there is a blurred line between honesty and loyalty. Although the two are related, they are not the same.
Recently, I had a situation that made me think about how people will call you friend but you treat you quite differently. Since so many people seem to be confused, let me tell you what proper etiquette in a friendship is:
1. Do NOT Talk About Them to Others…
Under no circumstance, should you converse about your friend with others, especially if the other people don’t like your friend. What people may say about your friend could be true-that’s debatable. But the fact that you feel the need to join in on the conversation makes you bogus as hell.
Why? Well, in a friendship, your friend is your friend and you don’t have to apologize for your friend being your friend. Once you start engaging in negative talk about your friend that makes you fraud. That lil’ thing called ‘loyalty’ that so many people scream to have but don’t activate should really be considered, during this time. Disagree with your friend, be mad at your friend, but don’t agree to negative things people say about your friend. That’s just foul.
2. Do Tell Them How You Feel
I believe that I’m the most vocal out of all my friends. If they hurt my feelings or make me feel some kind of way, I’m going to call them and tell them how I feel. I tell them because they may not have intended to hurt my feelings, and by telling them I’m bringing certain things to their attention, in order to prevent any other misunderstandings. They may or may not agree with me and that’s fine but at least they know how they feel. I also tell them when I feel like they did something that is out-of-line. We may agree to disagree, but I’m going to tell them in a respectful PRIVATE manner.
3. Talk About Things In Private
It’s just like a relationship with your girl or dude. If you had an issue with them, you wouldn’t blast them publicly, at least I hope not. So, don’t do it to your best friend. Simple.
It’s all about being honest but also respecting the integrity of the friendship. Everyone doesn’t need to know about your friend’s business.
4. Be Loyal
Some people seem to have this confused…There are people that take this word to the extreme and some that don’t even know what the hell it means. Loyal simply means showing a consistent sign of dedication or being faithful to someone or something.
Now, if your friend trying to plot and do some illegal activity, I advise you to leave them where he/she is then go on about your business. But when it comes to simple stuff like respecting them in front of others, not telling their business, and reciprocating the action, there’s nothing wrong with being loyal.
Right or wrong, I stand with my friends. I might not agree with them, but I stand with them. Meaning, I’m not about to call everyone and blast their wrong doings, but I’m sure not about to condemn them in front of others. In my personal opinion, loyalty runs deep. And I’m a LEO so I’m real big on that.
5. Be Honest
Be honest with your friend, even if they don’t like it. My friends tell me things that I may not want to hear or agree with but that’s their right to. We don’t have to think exactly alike to be friends and I’m glad that we don’t.
Also, be honest about embarrassing things. I have one friend that damn near knows way too much about me, even the embarrassing things. But it’s OK because I know she loves me and we’ve been friends since elementary. I know you can’t be that vulnerable with anyone, but the people you can’t be vulnerable with shouldn’t even be your friends.
Honesty is a good thing when it is coming from love.
6. Be There
We all go through things and need an ear to talk to and a shoulder to cry on. If you can’t count on your friends, then you’re going to be out of luck. There’s nothing like being able to call a friend in my time of need. They may not be able to help but just listening does a lot.
On the other side of that, make sure you’re not that friend that only takes and not gives. Don’t be the one that always calls about your problems and don’t bother to ask your friend how he/she is doing.
7. Reciprocation
There are a lot of selfish people and those people have a hard time reciprocating certain things. If you have a friend that’s always there, doesn’t mind doing favors, etc, be sure to reciprocate the action. There’s nothing worse than being in a one-sided friendship with someone, and in my opinion that’s not a real friendship.
Sure, some things may slip your mind and y’all may not do things exactly alike, but be mindful of what they like to do and how they treat you. Be sure to have a balanced friendship. No one should be exhausted.
8. Be Genuine
You may not always be right and you may not always be wrong, but be genuine. Be yourself and be honest in your friendships.
People out grow one another and things change, which totally sucks sometimes but it is ok. No matter what, remember to be genuine. Do things out of love and concern-not hate and jealousy.
Friendships are important. Although some friends will leave you, many of them will stay around after heartaches, break-ups, marriages, divorces, children, wrong doings, etc, and it’s important to cultivate your friendship. It’s no fun when you don’t have anyone to share your dreams with.
I think people need to cherish friendships now more than ever because the world is changing and so many people are fraud. If you have genuine friends, cherish them.
